Thursday, March 31, 2005



Believe that people are capable of achieving their own dreams and solving own their problems. Listen to hear, to understand and to respect them, not to advise, assist or direct them.

So sometimes we just need to be the listener?
Listen others "story"?

"not to advise, assist or direct. "

but what this sentence mean?
Thank you, Vincent; it is wonderful to have your questions. The sentence is unclear because it has no context.

Often, in western society, people don't fully listen to others. Instead of listening to hear, understand and respect the other person. We are thinking of what we will say next, how we will advise them or how we will direct them.

Men, in western society, believe it is their role to solve problems. So, they listen with a view to solving the problem. This is good in many situations. However, when a family member or friend is telling you about their dreams or their frustrations, often all they want is a chance to be heard.

Most people want to achieve their own dream or solve their own problem. Offering advice or assistance may communicate to them that you don't believe they are capable of achieving their own dream or solving their own problem.
In these instances, it is better to express understanding of the person's problem and confidence in their ability to resolve it.

One way to do this is to ask questions like: "So, what do you plan to do?"
My comment did not explain the difference between advise and direct, which is subtle, and may be difficult for someone whose first language is not English. Advise means to suggest a solution. Direct means to tell them what to do, such as a father or boss might do.
ummm...I think I got it,thank you Larry for your explain.

The same situation also happens in our country but the real problem is that we(at least I) don't think it's a problem.

I understand sometimes we just should be a good audience.But according to Eastern Culture, it's strange to just listen, sometimes the one who tell you their experience want to know the listener's advice.

May be not follow it, but want to know. It's like some kind of information exchange.
In my opinion, westerners are more indepentant, they don't wanna others help until they say it , I think that's why you have the idea of writing Listen.
You may be right about westerners being more independent. Another cultural difference, based on my experience, is that people from oriental cultures are willing to work for long-term goals more readily than the the typical westerner.

I am, however, no authority on any culture so I'll make no more generalizations.
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