Thursday, March 31, 2005
Listen others "story"?
"not to advise, assist or direct. "
but what this sentence mean?
Often, in western society, people don't fully listen to others. Instead of listening to hear, understand and respect the other person. We are thinking of what we will say next, how we will advise them or how we will direct them.
Men, in western society, believe it is their role to solve problems. So, they listen with a view to solving the problem. This is good in many situations. However, when a family member or friend is telling you about their dreams or their frustrations, often all they want is a chance to be heard.
Most people want to achieve their own dream or solve their own problem. Offering advice or assistance may communicate to them that you don't believe they are capable of achieving their own dream or solving their own problem.
In these instances, it is better to express understanding of the person's problem and confidence in their ability to resolve it.
One way to do this is to ask questions like: "So, what do you plan to do?"
The same situation also happens in our country but the real problem is that we(at least I) don't think it's a problem.
I understand sometimes we just should be a good audience.But according to Eastern Culture, it's strange to just listen, sometimes the one who tell you their experience want to know the listener's advice.
May be not follow it, but want to know. It's like some kind of information exchange.
I am, however, no authority on any culture so I'll make no more generalizations.